producers: j-zone

Meet J-Zone. A person with a middle finger. A person with a sense of humor, a bag full of dope beats (possibly other kinds of dope too) and lyrics that will change your life. Hmm, well, forget the last one. He got lyrics though, but if you want some guidance for your life, you better research Buddhist scriptures, or the holly Limeatry of the Dolly. This is as much ginseng root, as it is Prozac. This is a slamming 40oz of a herbal drink of aloha hip hop. Or something like that.

A jazzy little tune that is "The Zone Mission" comes with video game effects, a Milk sample and one of the most funniest moments in hip hop after "I can't breakdance and do graffiti so I'm assed out, so I autograph and cha cha until I pass out". This is nifty. Also very nifty is "No Consequences" (feat. Huggy Bear). Think: no police, no consequences. So you can ring the doorbells of other people and run away. You can go to the candy section in a grocery store and start eating, you can go to a clothing store, try some over prized gear on and walk out with the tags still on. Damn, you can even smack the high school teacher that used to hassle you or fondle and mess around with the cute 16 year old girl from next door.

After so much fun, it's time to do some "Ego Bashin'". Intending to hypnotizing us, or us witnessing how J-Zone is hypnotized, that gives us all the reasons why this album is so blatant. And we are also with J and with Al-Shid when they talk about their headaches and woes, their hangovers and lawnmowers. Hmm....whatever. "190" is a hip hop version of some 190 percent proof alcohol on a stick. The miraculous J production stumbles through pianos, switches and we need stitches after we banged our head against the bed. Our abdomen needs stitches after we laughed our ass off listening to "Ms. Platonic", which make yell at J 'now you are in the Friend Zone....aaaaahhh'. Another piano is sparkling on the extension of the leading up to this song interlude: "The Smurf Syndrome". This is a perfect example for J's funky production, that's never too cheap to include lots of voice samples, details that constantly take the track in another direction, breaking the monotony.

Now this enormous talent is somewhat wasted on "Nose Job", a senseless little dopeish tune, that is probably positioned there to make no sense. On the sad tip, we are also taking part in J talking about his past on "Orphan Babies" feat. Huggy Bear, that's on some "high school singled me out as part of the problem" tip. Speaking of high school: during "Recess" J hooks up with Al-Shid and he does them bravo rhymes. Them that say that they are better, nicer, cleaner, cuter, nastier, dustier, bluer, fluenter, spaciouser, well, plain old anything-er than you are. The school tip continues on "The First Day Of School" with another musical production. But even the most geekish student has to go home at one point in time. And while at home, due to no sexual encounters that could work as relieve for all those stuck hormones, "Nocturnal Emission" explains to us what can happen during nights of smiles that result in sticky stuff between the legs.

What takes us to the esoterically "Holy Water" featuring the cuddly Huggy Bear. What then again takes us to the genie in the bottle type track called "Calamine Lotion (Part II)". Another exhibition of J's production talent (that can sound same like from time to time) is exhibited on this instrumental reaching climax side dish. There's no backwash in this bottle either, as even the 'thanks guys' track "Extra Duck Sauce" is funky enough. And it takes us back to the days when tracks like that could be found on at least 2/3 of the albums out. However, this is actually more a record of the 1/3, as it's quite unusual. Then again, it's better like that, as even though several folks would like to try to do something like this, they couldn't quite possibly pull it off like J does. Pull it off like the panties of the girl next door you have been fantasizing about ever since I mentioned her. Aight, I'ma leave you with them thoughts now. But make sure to check back to reality, and make this record part of your collection reality, damn it.