All you guys that grew up on cheesy pop music, might remember a track by a three man group called Bros. Their first hit (wasn't it a Stock, Aitken, Waterman project?) was called "When Will I Be Famous?". The topic at hand here has slightly changed to "Will We Ever Be Famous?", and the quality of the music has increased by levels, that the stock market is dropping at the moment. So basically, apart from the two similar names, the two records have nothing in common, apart from a grinning idea behind the title. But putting that beside, we actually want to talk about the Dept. of Rec. and Kenneth Masters record, "Will We Ever Be Famous? EP" that is just about to drop on the label of our good friends, Arrakis Records.

First of all, Stape Mega is providing all beats on this record, that starts out with the Kenneth Masters track "Declaration (...Of War)", a track that starts with some shooting sounds, a siren and pretty quickly the battle rhymes of K. Mass, who starts to spit punchlines beginning with the first word he utters. With a strings enhanced track, that still allows itself to remain in the back, K. Mass is able to go "others keep it realer than real / I keep it actually". On the next cut we get a violin too, and we also get the Dept. Of Rec. dropping by to connect with K. on "Freddy vs. Jason". The story telling of this track shows a different side to K. In the back it's the beat that adds the needed sound effects, always doing something a little different, with screams being added, things being switched and the result eating you up, just like the evils talked about in the track.

Flip the record over to get to the second side of this EP, and you'll get Dept. Of Rec.'s "Witch Jawn". The beat goes into more experimental and science fiction fields, what shows the versatility that Stage has within him. Stape is actuality half of the Department, with Adam 12 being the other, and being the one that steps to the mic. And when he steps to the mic you get a verbal whup ass. From time to time you hear other people compare this to the results that a group that just definitely split up and crushed all the prospective fun of hearing more of their music, but while the chorus might be part of the same family, they can only be considered distant relatives. But the whole comparison can not be thrown over board just yet, once "Will We Ever Be Famous?" comes on, as the bass kick could be blamed to bear a resemblance, as well as again how the chorus goes. But this is still not a very fair thing to say, as this is definitely nothing of copy cat wackness, as once again, the beat is dope and the way Adam and K. Mass, who's featured on this track, hand the mic back and forth, sounds as supposed to, as if these two were never doing anything else. The topic on here is to do some talking about what will come out, if they ever blow up, making this as much a funny threat as some fantasizing wanking. What then leaves us with saying, that Arrakis again gives us something dope, maybe this actually just about being the dopest product they've ever released.

Don't get it twisted, this is not an underground Cali Agents release. While on the M-Boogie record, this reviewer, was actually so totally wrong to suspect that Sandman might be a Planet Asia underground alias, he has lowered his head in shame, for being totally wrong, and now gives Sandman all the credit and props he's able to pack within a 12" review. Cause now, on this 12" the remote resemblance got even remoter, and that's why he's (meaning I am) not going to admit that he was wrong. And so this is not a Cali Agents record, as only Cali Agent #1, but not #2 two is on here, as Bravo & Sandman team up with Rasco, while the Asia is nowhere to be seen. So I apologize for the mess up, and we shall now go on to properly checking these tracks out.

Once you hear the first few sounds of "Aged & Laced", your neck will go into a frenzy, meaning that if you don't take care, your head might just snap off, due to the constant up and down bending. You nod like a husband during his wife's PMS (send all hatemail here), as Bravo hooks up something too bouncy to just be sitting still and tapping fingers. The two emcees in the mean time flow over the beat in true braggadocios style, with giving us punchline galore, making things sound dope in the truest rhymes and beats fashion. On the flip things get even better though with "Audio/Visual". The beat is a little less bouncy, but there's a certain nightly energy to it, that is very appealing to us, and that is also partially credited to Joey Chavez, who had his fingers in the making of this track. In a way this talks about the difference between what you see and what you hear. Or what they tell you and what they don't tell you. And when Sandman says it in his own words, it sounds like "I stick to my audio plug / instead of a fantasy / [...] / criminal thugs take pitiful mug shots / like they can make a slug stop / in mid flight / only my tongue can draw this picture right?". And so we can conclude that there's a whole lot of reasons why GrooveAttack has added Sandman to their exclusive list of artists, cause if this 12" is any indication, then we just have another sure to hit man outta Cali.

There are not too many good things coming outta the UK lately. There first was BSE, then S Club 7 and now the foot-and-mouth disease, what somehow is all just as horrible as the other. And as this reviewer is about to bounce to the UK, to dodge some bugs, it's only right that he gets himself in the mood with reviewing this 12", that dropped in his hands, and features a truckload of artists that might mean nada to you, mean na to many European folks, but mean 'bwoooyyyeahhh, they are ill' to all UK cats that care about what's going on in the UK, apart from who Liam Gallagher hates at this very moment. So mates, get your ears ready, buckle up buckaroo, and enjoy "The Tournament - Round One".

First of all, this, as most European releases, comes on that heavy as fuck vinyl. Not that pussy stuff the US people are hassling us with, that if it would just be a little thinner, you could look through. And that's the first thing that will tell you that this is nothing wimpy. Then playing "(A Potentially) Dangerous Situation" feat. Usman & Tommy Evans and featuring the cuts by Eddie Skratch, as well as the man that makes the beats: Evil Ed, you have the two emcees go vs. what means, this is onto some battle galore, with no backdoors that allows you to disarm the punchlines that are detonating in your face. Rather calm remains the beat though, being based around a simple guitar stroke, and a complementary bass. But that means that the boxing ring's floor is smooth. And what's wrong with that?

It gets a little more animated on the next cut called "The Tournament", as a organ beep like sound is playing along with a hi-hat, while the Task Force is picking your brain, going through your weaknesses and their strengths, like the doods at the customs go through the luggage of people returning from UK vacation. Then finally on this 12", we get "Alien" by Jehst, who takes a step back, looks what has previously been done on this record, then takes the smoothest organ Evil Ed could put together, gives us his most content smile, then steps to the mic, and doesn't even need to brag to have cover sticker on this record refer to him as the 'undisputed champion'. The crowd is cheering, the reviewer as well, and the few people that don't agree get silenced, like critical voices at a George Bush press conference. And so we have found a reason why not to bomb the Island, in a desperate attempt, to protect the rest of the world from all the evils coming from there. Cause if they are coming in the form of the Evil called Ed, then we all should be at the boarder welcoming him, and not trying to protect it from entering with formic acid.